Hello Sega nuts, my name is J.M.Vargas. You might remember me from the now-comatose Dave Z. Saturn page (http://www.digiweb.com/davez), where my lengthy reviews, raw wit and winning personality earned me a following that demanded (and got) an Oscar-caliber performance in the cult-hit "Grease" (not the recently re-released 1978 musical, but the porno knock-off released by New Video)...but that's another story. Fernando's been kind enough to tolerate my repeated snubbing and welcomed me back into his grace, allowing me to speak my mind editorially and to submit (for your approval of course, the way Rod Serling would have wanted) reviews of yet more Sega Saturn games. Thanks for still caring about the Saturn (easier with a N64 and PSX by its side), and let's get it on with today's opening salvo: the unbelievable Saturn bargains that are now available to ALL Sega gamers around the good ol' USA. The key word in that phrase is ALL, because the much talked-about bargains in Saturn software and hardware peripherals skipped certain areas of the States, as well as some key national retail chains. As late as the last week of March 1998 Electronics Boutique, Babbages/Software Etc. and Toys 'r' Us were still charging retail prices ($39-$59!) for certain Saturn games. And the East Coast particularly was subjected to the "Chinese water torture"-like news accounts on the net of Best Buy stores clearing their Saturn stock for $9.95 a title (some brand-new EA Sports titles!), and K-Marts selling their Saturn hardware for as little as $50 or less. Sure, the occasional BS prankster slipped one by us (a 99 cent Saturn at an Iowa Walmart? Yeah, and Roseanne Barr will model Oscar de la Renta's Fall '98 fashions on a runway), but most of this accounts were true and in many parts of the US some of us were red-faced with envy at the thought of someone paying a third or a fourth of what some of us in New York City (my town) had to shell for the cool Winter '98 line-up the Saturn went out with (the biggest collection of 'A' and 'B'-caliber titles I have seen Sega release for a platform ever!).

But April gives us spring, a time of the year that is typified in America by the apple pie-like ritual of Spring cleaning the attic, bag most of the heavy-duty winter gear and dust off the tank tops and summer wear. College kids go nuts drinking and partying for Spring Break, and apparently the big three videogame retailers still selling Saturn software decided to do a little inventory cleaning of their own. Now the bargains have arrived in full-force to New York City and certain stores in Upstate NY I visited over the Easter weekend are not only selling good Saturn softs at low prices, but have received fresh supplies of games to supply the demands of bargain hunters with open wallets. If your local EB/Babbages/Toys 'r' Us hasn't stockpiled the Saturn goodies, then ask the managers about their future plans (these are, after all, franchises that make individual choices in regards to supporting a promotion from the main company). Why should you give a rat's ass about any of these news? Sony has a TON of really cool games coming almost weekly for PSX, and the N64 has the occasional runaway blockbuster to revive its lackluster reputation. Why bother with old-news and cheapo Saturn games? For one, you're reading this. That shows you care, you're addicted to the cause, you need to go out more often and you genuinely like the little black box from hell (that would be Sega...ouch!). But most importantly, these three retailers (a) will still release the remaining 1998 line-up of Saturn softs, and (b) they often ARE CAPABLE OF RESTOCKING THEIR SHELVES WHEN DEMAND IS STRONG ENOUGH for more of those hard-to-find-anywhere-else Saturn games. Think about it: once K-Mart and Walmart and Blockbuster unload their last copy of "Fighters Megamix" or "Megaman X4", you're out of luck because that store ain't gonna " restock Saturn games to please your gaming needs. But Toys 'r 'Us and EB have some really cool games out there that, if purchased in sufficient quantities, could prompt managers to order more copies to be mailed so they could make a small but marginal profit. I'm sure very few people layed the $50 asking price for "Last Bronx" for the five months it was available at retail, which means plenty of copies left collecting dust at warehouses (I know, I was one of the few/proud that purchased "LB" :-P). But at their new $19 price? Gamers who wouldn't take a chance with a $50 gamble are more likely to do so with a cheaper price tag, not to mention that they will feel like they are getting more than their money's worth. Tell that to someone that buys a copy of "War Gods" for N64 at $39.95, or the many people suckered in by Sony's "Spawn" priced at an attractive $39.95!. Enough said! Sega of America will clean their inventory of unsold Saturn games at a loss, and retailers will get attractively-priced games that won't sit on the shelves collecting spiderwebs at retail prices.

See what I'm getting at? I strongly urge to go by your nearest "big three" retailer and see what Saturn games might be reappearing in stores at affordable prices. For example, a NYC Software Etc. store on 42nd St. and 6th Ave. that hadn't updated their lackluster Saturn offerings for quite some time was packed with bargain-priced software fresh from the warehouse. Ditto for the Toys 'r' Us store in 33rd Street and Avenue of the Americas (you are coming to New York in a tourist visit soon, aren't you?), which snapped out of a months-old drought with tons of games at attractive prices. And all EB's in the metropolitan area have also gone south with their sticker prices... all I can say is that IT WAS ABOUT DAMN TIME. Be warned that there are a few games that I've been able to verify do not seem to go down in price ANYWHERE I can see in the East Coast; they must all be in high-demand and limited-quantity, because you will still pay a lot of dinero for "Nascar '98" and "NBA Live '98" (both from EA Sports), "Marvel Super Heroes", "Steep Slope Sliders" (not for long now that N64's "1080 Snowboarding" is out), "Croc", "Dragon Force", etc.Me? I might spring for cheapo copies of "Virtua Cop 2", "Panzer Dragoon II Zwei", "Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo", and an occasional stinker to balance out my quality-driven library (you know, stuff like "Robotica" or "Three Dirty Warves"). You? For between $9 and $25, you could find some " pretty good and bad games (depending on your tastes) like "Quake", "Duke Nukem 3D", "Powerslave" (good luck!), "Sonic 3D Blast", "Sonic Jam", "Sonic R", "Worldwide Soccer '98", "NBA Action '98", "NHL All'Star '98", "Manx TT", "Touring Car Championship", "Street Fighter Collection", "Enemy Zero", "Albert Odyssey", "Shining the Holy Ark", "World Series Baseball '98" (damn the game's developers for not including a trade option), "Mass Destruction", "Sega Ages", "Mortal Kombat Trilogy", "Die Hard Trilogy", "Fighting Vipers"... as well as a slew of first and second-generation " games from 1995 and 1996 that still need to be cleared (like "D", "Bust-A-Move 2", "Galactic Attack", "F1 Championship", etc.). Keep in mind that slashed games do " not have quality-control bestowed upon them, so it's up to you (the educated hardcore gamer) to steer clear of crap like (in my humble opinion) "Criticom", ""Heir of Zendor", "Virtual Casino", "The Incredible Hulk", "Dragonheart", "The Crow: City of Angels" and (drum roll, please!) "Sky Target". You have been warned!"