Posted: 09/07/99    Previous | Headlines | Next

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While the careful study of booth babes may seem like an utterly instinctive pastime for some of the gaming press, interest has waned over in recent years among the gaming glitterati. So much so, that this past E3 was a dismal display of indifference.

Not so at the ECTS, however, where there is a little more chauvinism and a lot less political correctness. . Of the big three console publishers - Sega, Nintendo and Sony - each one has scored a decisive blow against the other, although there is currently no clear victor in the babe wars.

The Nintendo booth is populated by silver-clad hostesses wearing black Nintendo baseball caps. These young ladies are strategically placed to intercept all manner of visitor while adding an attractive buffer between the guest and corporate Nintendo. A Linda Evangelista-clone of noticeable proportions "helped" young Sam and James numerous times in getting their interview with Howard Lincoln sorted, all the while flashing a set of teeth worthy of a Dentyne commercial. For sheer photogenic beauty, this woman is practically unsurpassed in the span of the entire ECTS showroom.

Sony, on the other hand, had an equally numerous amount of helpful "assistants", although one blue-eyed, blonde-haired beauty in particular helped us with our questions, of which we seemed to have a lot. Sony's girls just squeak by Nintendo's at the finish line.

Sega does not have a booth at ECTS, deciding to handle those duties at a massive party near Kensington palace on the Sunday evening. If you want to count the sheer number of beautiful women at the "show", then you'd have to count the ladies in attendance at Sega's European Dreamcast launch.

One of the special guests at the party last night was Verne Troyer, otherwise known as Mini-Me from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Accompanying Verne was a model of statuesque proportions who went by the name of Charlie. Roughly six-feet tall and dressed from midriff to ankles in some sort of snakeskin menagerie, Charlie floored the 500-plus crowd with her Paulina Porizkova/Cheryl Tiegs looks. Other qualifiers in attendance looked like a flock of Los Angeles-based porno stars and B-movie actresses. You know, the really, really hot ones who cannot act, and usually wind up starring in Puff Daddy videos.

If you were looking at sheer quantity and quality, Sega would have had to win hands down. Unfortunately, with the lack of a bona fide show presence, this leaves Sony and Nintendo to duke it out. As stated before, personality wins out over technical beauty and Sony comes up at the top of the podium.

Other honourable mentions include the representatives from third-party publishers like Acclaim, Midas, Eidos and Crave.

This has been a purely optional report on the behalf of the Mighty Sam and James Collective. Don't ever say we don't bleed for our readers.